With a heavy heart, I heaved a sigh of resignation as I looked up to the vastness of the bright sky above. I was asking God to rescue me from my pit when suddenly, the world before me dimmed as I looked back down. No, nobody shut the lights out. But you know how you temporarily lose your vision after staring at something bright for a while? Well, that's not all that happened to me. Jesus' light happened to me.
Jesus' light happened to Saul too on his way to Damascus. It blinded a man whose views and actions reflected the darkness in his soul. Yet after seeing Jesus, his heart was changed and so did his name and the way he saw the world.
Not that I have been "breathing out murderous threats against God's disciples." But perhaps I have been short-sighted of the greatness of God in my own life. The comforting truth however, was that He will always be greater than my griefs. And His grace will always be greater than all my sin. Neither the tightness of my spot nor the stickiness of my situation will ever change the character, power and love of God. And whether my faith was as big as a football field or as tiny as a mustard seed, God remains to be the Mover of my mountains.
There simply was no question about what God can do, but on what I was willing to do. My mountain had grown so big that it blocked my way and obstructed my view. Yet the Lord chose not to move it. While I've been struggling to find a way around it, all He wanted was to grow my faith bigger that I may gain a higher perspective. I was stuck, yes...because I refused to grow. I couldn't see because I refused to open up my eyes to the things that mattered most like love, forgiveness and compassion.
The breathtaking view at the top of the Dorset Lookout
Tower in Haliburton, Ontario.
I called this picture "Big World, Little Jane"
with my friend posing for me beside this gigantic binoculars.
Beautiful rainbow on top of the Haliburton Highlands.
God's greatness had brought me to my knees as it brought to light the shadows that were slowly creeping in the crevices of my heart. He showed me that I didn't really need to go very far to find His grace. It was sufficient right where I was.
I know that every now and then I will still be pleading with the Lord to take away my thorn. Yet when He won't, I pray that like the apostle Paul, He may help me fix my eyes not on what is seen which is temporary, but on what is unseen which is eternal.
"Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace." (Helen H. Lemmel, 1922)